My Heart Is Filled With HATE!

I fuck up my own life, bout it

My Farewell

I don’t understand how I am always the bad guy or the mean one, everything I ever said was from my heart and needed to be said. I never told a lie about you or talked shit about you behind your back, I never put words in your mouth, and I never called you any names, except once and it was to your face not to someone else. You have done all these things and more to me. I never told anyone your secrets and withheld the truth about you from everyone because you wanted me to. I have never set out to ruin your life, only to try and mend what we had, but you wanted none of it. You apologized and then changed nothing and kept on doing what you were doing. I would have walked and fought my way to the end of the earth just to get you a tissue if you nose was a little runny. My love for you was real.

And yet, I am the one being mean or a “douche” as you like to put it, but whatever, I’ve had enough, I’m done, and I wash my hands of this with this post. I realize now that I should have done this earlier instead of drag this out, but you wanted to still be friends after everything and said you couldn’t imagine a life without me in it and I agreed because my love for you was still there. You toyed with my heart by telling me there still was a chance for us in the future when you knew that was just a lie  to soften the blow for you. You said you were not leaving me for him when you knew that to be a lie as well. And you said it was a “break” not a “break up” again just to make it easier on you. Any feelings I had for you are gone now and I feel free, I’ve been liberated from a fantasy that had my heart enslaved. I am no longer the broken shell of a man that I was, I am back to the old me, the happy, joyful me.

I should thank you for something I guess, cause I know now that if, God forbid, this happens to me again, I will not drag it out. I will end it then and there and cut all ties. I’ve been talking with someone new now and hopefully it goes well if not then on to the next one. I do hope everything goes well for you in your life, but like you when we were together I want none of it. Our chapter together as a couple or “friends” has ended in the books of our lives. Goodbye.

it is time…

Happily single, it is time to unleash my flirtatious and charming nature unto all of the ladies out there!

Haha scariest thing in my life

Haha scariest thing in my life

Thoughts on relationships

No relationship is perfect or without issues.

Even my friends in happy relationships or marriages have their rough patches.

Some of these “rough patches” were so bad that they’ve almost resulted in a separation or breakup.

The ones who worked on their problems —even if it took a year to figure things out —have come out on the other side with a better relationship. But many just didn’t have the skills,emotional openness or maturity to do this,so they broke up.

Of course,in some cases,these breakups were for the best. I’ve realized though that,perhaps, the majority of breakups didn’t have to happen if both parties could have just communicated better. Listened to each other and compromised on certain things.

Why do people give up so easily? Is it because some just lack a maturity to sustain a relationship? Are so many people THAT unable to express,communicate and show compassion towards another? Are THAT many people selfish,that when things get a little hard,they’d rather just leave?

I think it’s a shame. I know that barring a HUGE betrayal,I would stick it out.


I swear I aint no hero, I got PTSD, I’m just a survivor of what war does to your sanity.

Trust me it doesnt work this way

Trust me it doesnt work this way

Poor frog…

Poor frog…